Say Goodnight and Go
by andI'mstillinlove
Summary: And, we're rolling with it, please come and check it out if you've got nothing better to do ON HOLD, cause i'm a terrible author and very indecisive. Blame ADD
1. Intro

A/N: I really should be working on my Siddhartha project, or studying for my chemistry final, or doing something productive, but I'm in an anti-productive mood, and I've been considering this idea for a few days. I was inspired by Imogen Heaps song, Goodnight and Go from her newish cd, Speak For Yourself (absolutely stunning cd by the way, strongly recommend it to anyone with ears), so the lyrics struck me as an interesting idea, im sure its been done before, but I'd like to try my hand, so let me know if its a yay or nay, or if its a loser or a keeper, thanks.

_Say goodnight and go._

_Skipping beats, blushing cheeks, I am struggling._

So, this is wrong. Doesn't take a genius to know it. Hell, doesn't even take an average IQ to know. Doesn't even take someone with below average IQ to know it. You could be an amoeba and you'd know for god sakes! But this serene picture in front of me isn't something that can really be determined by a simple "right" or "wrong". Because that beauty, that undeniable charm, that peaceful look on her face as she breathes evenly, her eyes shifting behind her lids, her soft breathes tickling my bare skin, causing me to shiver slightly, those all defy any type of definition aside from "breathtaking". Because I know that its not wrong, that none of this feels wrong, from how our bodies moved together last night, to the drowsy morning now, and how she fits like a perfect complement in my arms, and how my arms seem to find pre-destined slots on her body, and we fit like one, big, warm puzzle.

The world we've created, nestled together in safety like this, it isn't wrong, but unfortunately, no one cares about our world, they care about reality, and the reality is; this is so wrong. The reality is: today is when she's getting married. The reality is: I'm not the one she's getting married to. And the reality is: I think I'm in love with her.

A/N: Yes, sounds familiar in many accounts, so tell me if i should scrap it or what have you, adieu fair mob.


	2. Talk to Me, Dance With Me

A/N: Thank you guys for the feedback, I was really just messing around with the idea, but the more and more I consider it, the better it becomes to me, so onward with the show! Thank you to Datsonfan, Kittkat, thefrick (awesome name btw lol) and Cyberauthor, glad you guys think its worth continuing, I thank you for taking interest, this chapters dedicated to you lot, enjoy people, review if you like, here we go.

_Daydreaming, bed scenes in the corner cafe,_

_And I'm left in this recovering tectonic, trembling._

_You get me every time._

Well, most of you are wondering "Alright, so, how'd all this happen?" Well, I'm gonna tell you, so just hold your horses, my goodness you readers are impatient. The events leading to this moment where my arms are around her, and the only thing I can think of, see, breathe, taste, feel, or any other function, is her, are long, and pretty complicated, not to mention, slightly odd in their nature, so I suggest you settle in for the ride, because it'll be a good one to listen to(or read).

It all started two years ago, give or take a couple months, but two years more or less. My friends and I had just graduated high school, and had already commenced our searching for an apartment in the heart of LA, far far away from the hellish suburbs that had housed us for much of our lives thus far. We succeeded, and just like that, we left the homes of our early years and began all over again, this time surrounded by noisy and crowded streets, soaring sky scrapers and a night life like that I'd never seen before.

It was in this setting, that we all became bound together by one incredible, beautiful, amazing, and utterly indescribable girl that is Spencer Carlin. It had been almost a month that we had all been living together (we encompassing Me, Aiden, Kyla, and my best friend, Leslie), and we had all begun settling into the rhythm of this new phase of our lives, moving as fast as the city life around us, only barely keeping pace with it. Kyla was working at some high end fashion thing, coming home daily with armloads of expensive clothing that the company had deemed "ugly" and certainly helping out with the rent. Aiden was working as a bartender at the new club that had recently opened up, Paramour, and Leslie and I were working under a fairly new recording company, Pen Island Records (if you can figure out what else that says, you get a chapter dedication lmao), working with newly signed artists along with helping produce Eps and such, ever since I had been little, I knew my calling was with music. You never found me without some form of music on me, ranging from the portable tape players, to CD players, and then onto ipods, and you always heard music streaming from our apartment, always mine or Leslie's doing, both of us music fanatics.

So, it was amidst our hectic and frantic lives, that a stranger stumbled into, and turned everything on its head. Aiden had invited us to Paramour as it was our favorite haunt over the weekends, him abusing bartender privileges and getting us in for free, and free drinks (the owner liked him), us always heading there for Friday, and sometimes Saturday nights. In general, we kept to ourselves, usually keeping to our group to dance to, but Aiden had had a little too much to drink, and he decided to change up the routine, quickly grabbing onto the first human body within reach of those rather large hands. I took no notice of it, still dancing to some nameless pop song with Leslie and Kyla, but as time went on, he was still with some nameless bimbo, and, being the overprotective bunch of girls we are, we immediately jumped to several conclusions on what to do to that bimbo once we had her.

We found him and her in a corner, him trying sloppily to kiss her as she gently tried to remove his hands from her sides, casting pleading eyes at us as we walked up. Any thoughts of her being a bimbo, or anything of that sort were gone as soon as my eyes fell on her. Leslie moved from beside me to grab Aiden around the waist and haul him off, muttering curses under her breath and slapping him repeatedly on the head. Kyla grabbed his other swinging arm, hefting it over her shoulder. Leslie turned back to me, shouting over her shoulder.

"We're gonna get this drunk idiot back home, we'll see ya in a few!"

I waved them off, before turning to regard the girl in front of me, still staring curiously after the three as they stumbled away. Her eyes eventually turned their way to me, and I felt the wind punched right out of my lungs. I wouldn't call her eyes "beautiful ocean blue" or "blue as sapphires", they were something that I couldn't quite call a color, like the shade was foreign to the ugly masses of the world, a gift from a race from the outer reaches of space, only just now gracing the populace of LA. It was like a hybrid mixture of blue, green, and grey, not quite one color, but not quite the other as well, somehow mixing all the colors together, and creating a shade that I have never and will never see again as long as I live. The rest of her was just as eerily beautiful, and I wasn't so sure if she really was even human to begin with, this type of beauty rare, if practically extinct in this hideous society we live in today. She smiled at me, and the air that already wasn't in my lungs was further squeezed out of me by invisible hands, and I had to hold onto a chair to prevent my face meeting the ground.

"Why don't you sit down, your looking a bit dizzy over there."

I tried to force a smile to my face, only to find it a poor impersonation of my usual bright ones. That voice... I sat down quickly sitting across from this girl I was wary to know any further. She was still staring at me, her head cocked slightly to the side, her eyes shining in the obnoxious lights flashing around us, changing color continually, and making me change my thoughts on their color mixture. I cleared my throat, mentally screaming at myself to make conversation before I looked like a bigger idiot then I already was.

"So um... you uh, new here?"

I saw her eyes shift slightly, connecting with mine and making my legs weak despite the fact I was sitting. She nods her head, her eyes still staring right into me, making me feel naked and exposed before her.

"So um... you gotta name?"

Smooth I know, usually I'm not THIS bad with girls, but hey, what would you expect when faced with this caliber of beautiful-ness. She smiled at me, her lips barely cricking up, making my knees weak again.

"I do, but I didn't tell you."

She abruptly stood up, leaving me gawking at her now empty space as she passed by me, her hand barely brushing my shoulder and almost causing me to go into cardiac arrest. I whirled around and watched her walk through the crowds effortlessly and out the door, and only then could breathing become possible again.

A/N: Thats all for now, I seriously have so many ideas for this story lol, its not even funny, shout out to Leslie, your awesome thanks for being in my story lol, see you guys later.


	3. Time Stands Still

A/N: Hey all, this is probably the fastest I'll update this story, expect the pace to slow somewhat, I do have school unfortunately, and unless someone figures out a way to get me out of high school (please someone figure something out), it'll be kinda slowish updating, can't gurantee a solid updating schedule. Chapter dedication to DatSonfan for figuring out my childish and immature joke in chapter 2, I blame Tyson and David from autoshop last year, and people ask me why I despise 99.9 of all men, just take a visit to autoshop lol. Hope you like this chapter, thanks for reviewing DatSonfan.--Enjoy--

_Why'd you have to be so cute?  
It's impossible to ignore you._

And so, that was my first introduction to the wonder that is Spencer. I know, you'd be blown away too, don't have to tell me twice. There was a window of about two weeks between that first meeting, and our next. She had somewhat slipped into the back portion of my mind, but did take dominance in my thoughts at night before drifting to sleep, and those eyes haunted me whenever I closed my eyes. But, figuring her for the kind of drifting type, I expected to never see that strange girl again. I was very happy to be proved wrong.

It was a rare thunderstorm in LA, and me being the California native I was, shook at the thought of it, and refused to step out of the apartment into the pouring rain, bright lightning and deafening thunder. About 10 minutes later, I was being dragged out of the apartment by Leslie, Kyla on the floor laughing as I struggled vainly against Leslie. They won in the end, and though we only had to be outside for about 15 minutes, I still wasn't very happy when we stepped into Paramour. The anger at the weather and my friends quickly dissipated when I saw a pair of eyes whose color defied description.

She was in a corner booth, hidden behind a veil of smoke and people, but I somehow found her eyes, and I stopped right there in the middle of the crowd, not wanting to break the contact. This continued for several minutes until Leslie yanked me forward towards the bar, my concentration broken for a split second, and when I sought her eyes again, she was gone. I was half tempted to kick Leslie in the shin, but I knew that wouldn't end well, she always kicked back harder. I ran right into the bar, slamming my foot into it and cursing loudly, causing several people to turn and look at me. I was about to tell them all off when I saw I'd also attracted her attention. I swallowed the retorts back down and nervously looked down at the smooth black surface, my fingers dancing around on the material, trying to find enough to courage to make some sort of move. She beat me to it however, and I felt her body slide in next to mine, elbowing off some guy making eyes at me, her hand resting not even inches from my dancing fingers.

"So... do you have a name?"

I glanced up, and I knew I had the deer caught in the headlights look, my breath momentarily becoming stifled with just how close she was, and how she was seriously invading my personal bubble. I opened my mouth to speak, and found now that she somehow disabled my voice. I lifted my hand up and faked a cough, my eyes still shifting here and there. I sucked in a deep breath, and turned to face her.

"Yeah, my names Ashley."

I cringed at myself, my voice came out rough as nails on a chalkboard, and I think my voice cracked when I said my name. She didn't seem to notice though, only smiled, opening her mouth to reply, only stopped by a bear paw on her shoulder, making her jump and turn suddenly. Aiden...

"Hey there Ash, I see you've met Spence, Spence, this is my friend, Ashley."

I smiled sheepishly and mentally willed Aiden to remove his hand before I removed it for him. No such luck however.

"You remember her right Ash? From a few weeks back?"

I nodded hurriedly, still confused as to why his giant, ugly hand was still on her delicate shoulder.

"Well, I made up, and it turns out she just moved here, from Ohio right?"

"Yeah, Ashland."

God, her voice was so...

"Well, I gotta get back to drinks, its really packed tonight, you two ladies don't have too much fun without me, I'll see you later Spence."

He kissed her lightly on the cheek, turning away as I became vaguely aware of my jaw dropping. My mind couldn't even formulate a thought, and I knew I had the gaping goldfish look going on right now. She fiddled with her glass, nothing left in it but ice.

"He's a nice guy... How do you know him?"

She looked up at me, and I had to mentally kick myself to get my brain started once more.

"Uh, we um, we dated for a while in high school, but we broke it off after..."

I trailed off, not quite sure how to put "but he got me pregnant, I had a miscarriage, and I found out I was gay." I chewed on my lip instead, hoping she would take that as an answer. She just nodded knowingly, still keeping her fingers preoccupied with the glass.

"Yeah, those happen a lot with guys huh."

I smile, she didn't even know the half of it, but I appreciated the effort anyway.

"So, its Spence, right?"

She looks up, her eyes searching me and making me feel pretty awkward.

"Spencer, actually, I really hate it when people call me Spence."

I can feel the blush running across my face as I realize my error, and I want to run into the bar again, just so I can have an excuse to curse.

"Oh! Umm, I'm sorry, I didn't really..."

My sentence is cut short when she places her hand lightly on mine. I feel a charge, of what, I cannot tell you, but it was a jolt of something, and let me tell you, it felt amazing. Her eyes connected with mine, and she only shook her head.

"It's alright, it doesn't sound too bad when you say it actually. It just sounds so... _ugly._ Sounds different with you. Y'know?"

Her head tilts slightly to the side, and I barely suppress the giggle that bubbles to the surface, my brain taking a mental snapshot, saving her adorable-ness in my mind. I smile and nod, though I have no idea what that means.

"So, how do you know Aid?"

She laughs at this, bringing a hand up to brush away several blonde strands that had fallen into her hair.

"Funny story actually, after that night, I came back the next night, and he just wouldn't leave me alone, so, I accepted his apology, and it turns out he's a nice guy, funny, not so smart though..."

I laugh loudly at this, her critique of Aiden spot on, I loved the boy to pieces, but I'd met more intelligent rocks.

"Yeah, I love him to death, he's just... shall we say not the sharpest tool in the shed."

She laughs at this, an adorable sound I think, making her already cute-ness amplified 10 times over. I only smile, its endearing to watch her, and I already feel something for her, something I hadn't felt in a long long time. She finally stops and looks again at me, just a friendly look, her eyes searching through me, and I swear it felt like she was looking into my life, perusing the memories like neat files stacked away. She smiles again, looking at her small watch on her right hand, eyes widening slightly.

"I've gotta get going, I forgot class is tomorrow, I swear I'm a walking example of those blonde jokes."

I only snort at her joke as she puts down a 10 dollar bill and grabs her small purse. She turns to me, the tension re-appearing again.

"So, um, Ashley, this was fun, I'll be seeing you around?"

I perk up at this, and I can only nod excitedly.

"Yeah, Aiden's got my number memorized if you need anything or wanna hang."

Oh right like she'd-

"That's perfect, I'll be sure to ask him."

She flashes me another smile, and I don't know how to quite read her eyes this time, their meaning eluding me slightly. I feel the butterflies riot inside my stomach with small bombs and machine guns as she winks and begins to saunter off, my breath becoming short as I watch her legs move, trailing up until they meet that brilliant smile, another wink, and she's gone. Now, I don't believe in love at first sight. It's a ridiculous idea if you ask me, I mean, how on earth would you ever know you'd love someone from just looking at them? What if you two disagreed on everything? See? That idea has some definite loop-holes in it. I don't believe in love at first sight, but when I saw her again that night, that was love on second sight, and let me tell you, it hit me like a big yellow school bus I never saw coming.

A/N: That's all for now folks, I'm gonna watch American Idol and laugh at the losers that America records for the masses enjoyment, cheers.


End file.
